100 Channels and Nothing On
by Izzy Samson
Summary: Katniss watches Capitol TV for the first time since coming home. Re-runs of the Games is on—Katniss's Games. How does she deal with it, when it is showing on nearly every channel? Post Mockingjay pre-epilogue. Written for the 2013 Holiday Gift Exchange


**Thanks to my wonderful betas Court81981 and Kismet4891!**

** Written 2013 Ao3 Holiday Gift Exchange.**

**100 Channels and Nothing On**

Katniss pulled the string back on her bow and aimed her arrow at a pair of squirrels who were blissfully unaware that she was perched in the tree above them, poised to end one or both of their lives momentarily. She found herself watching the two and relaxing her arm; it was obvious that they were flirting, or whatever it was that squirrels did. Suddenly the sound of distant thunder startled the furry pair, and they scurried away.

Katniss huffed at the inopportune timing of the oncoming rain and criticized herself for taking so long to make the shot.

It didn't really matter anyhow; she didn't need the game. Her freezer was full of meat, and Sae had more than she really needed. Hunting now just was a way to pass the time until evening came and she and Peeta could work on the memory book. It was something to keep her busy and her mind off of her sorrow and grief for few hours a day.

Katniss had escaped to the woods at first light simply to get her mind off yet another sleepless night—last night she dreamt of Cinna. Again she watched him be beaten, and again she was powerless to stop it.

She and Peeta had the same routine for a few months now; in the mornings she hunted and Peeta baked. They came together in the evening to eat a meal together and to work on the memory book. Sometimes they would work for an hour, and other times they would work well past midnight. Last night on the couch, he held her, and for the first time ever she shared the details of being forced to watch Cinna be beaten before she was sent up into the Quell. She cried herself to sleep on Peeta's shoulder after they had worked on Cinna's page.

Peeta held her and stroked her hair, reassuring her with his presence. He didn't tell her that it was going to be okay, or to just not think about it. He simply let her cry it out while he held her, just like he used to on the train. It was such a bittersweet moment. She had the old Peeta back for just a few moments, and she fell asleep inhaling his comforting scent and feeling the security of his arms.

She awoke awhile later, in her bed, and began to sob again; that time it was because she was alone and the one thing she wanted, to have Peeta hold her in the night, she couldn't have anymore. When she finally did fall back to sleep, Cinna haunted her dreams, and she missed Peeta desperately.

In the limbs of the tree, Katniss allowed herself to indulge in the fantasy of how nice it would be to have Peeta back in her bed, helping her to keep the nightmares at bay.

Katniss shook her head at her own ridiculousness. She couldn't afford to think like that anymore, and she couldn't ask that of him. She finally decided that she needed to get back to her house. A rare autumn thunderstorm was coming her way, and she didn't want to get caught in the cold rain.

Her bones protested as she eased down the limbs of the tree; two Hunger Games and a war had taken its toll on her young body, and her lack of sleep hadn't helped either. She quickly walked towards the district, the trip was now easier to make, as the fence was gone and there was no longer a maze of buildings to traverse through or Peacekeepers to dodge. About the time she stepped foot into Victors' Village, the sky let go and the frigid rain came down hard, and she had to run to avoid getting wet.

By the time she got into her house she was soaked. On the table, she saw that Peeta must have had a much more productive morning than she'd had. There sat a loaf of his raisin-nut bread and plate of sugar cookies. She regretted not waiting for him to bring her breakfast like she normally did, but she had to leave the house as soon as she could this morning.

Her stomach groaned at the scent of the delicious goodies Peeta had left for her; she'd forgotten about breakfast in her haste to escape the house. She decided to eat before showering.

She greedily ripped off the heel of the loaf and practically inhaled it before heading upstairs. After her shower and putting on some dry clothes, she went downstairs to find something to occupy her time. It would be several hours before Peeta would come over for dinner and to work on the memory book. It was only ten in the morning.

'What in the world am I going to do until then?' she wondered and looked around the large empty house.

She doubted that Haymitch would be anywhere near awake yet, and she didn't feel like dodging a knife this early in the day.

She thought briefly of going over Peeta's house to visit, but she didn't want to disturb his routine. They were steadily getting closer, as they'd been spending more and more time together. They'd recently started to be openly affectionate. They would hug every night before he left for his house. Sometimes Peeta would put his arm around her while they worked on book. They were much more than friends, but she didn't know where they stood, and she didn't want to test the boundaries.

The house was clean, the laundry was done, and nothing pressing needed to be done. She thought about reading, but her eyes were heavy and burned with exhaustion.

Katniss looked at the huge Capitol-installed TV. She'd not watched television in ages; in fact the last time she watched it was in Tigress's shop. She'd never been much of a TV watcher, but she thought maybe with over a hundred channels that had to be something to entertain her for a while.

She picked up the long forgotten remote, which was a confusion of buttons and settings. Finally, after some trial and error, television finally came to life.

She was expecting some sort silly Capitol programming, the same sort of senseless drivel that she so often watched while her ankle was healing: vapid reality shows, soap operas, fashion talk shows praising or condemning the clothes of the of the rich and famous.

But what came on screen shocked and horrified her. It was The Games—more specifically, her and Peeta's games. Peeta was standing at the base of a tree talking to the Career pack.

_Peeta- "Just wait her out, she has to come down sometime."_

Katniss automatically started hitting buttons to change the channel. The next one wasn't any better: Clove was threatening her when Thresh collapsed her skull with a rock. Katniss changed the channel before she heard what Thresh had to say.

Another button push brought another station on. This time, it was an image of her and Peeta in the cave. This time she watched; it was right after she'd brought Peeta his medicine, and she'd waken up. She couldn't look away because she knew that this was the first time that she'd felt something real for Peeta. Their lips touched on screen, and in her living room she felt the same hunger that she'd felt in the cave. She remembered the sweetness of Peeta's lips, and she longed to feel them again.

The spell was broken when she heard the unmistakable voices of Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith.

_Claudius- "Looks like the star-crossed lovers are getting cozy!"_

_Caesar-"It most certainly does…I wonder if the censors are going to have some work to do later. If you know what I mean!"_

_(The pair laughs)_

Katniss was horrified, remembering that all of Panem had seen their intimate moment, and she quickly changed the channel. But it was no better; in fact, it was worse. She and Peeta were on the beach in the Quell.

If the first 'real' kiss in the cave stirred something in her, then the second one only made her regret what followed, losing Peeta in the arena and him being taken by the Capitol.

She pressed the 'up' button again, and she saw her and Peeta kissing in the snow. Katniss hated herself for so many reasons, one of which was not admitting to herself how much she loved Peeta even then. When she saw the footage, she wondered how things might have been different if only she'd realized her true feelings for Peeta sooner.

Katniss again hastily changed the channel, and it was the most disturbing image of all. Peeta was on the stage next to Caesar Flickerman. Peeta looked terrible and she knew instantly that it was from his last interview.

_Peeta- "And you in District 13, dead by morning!"_

She shook with fear knowing what was coming next; she tried to turn off the screen but she couldn't find the right button, and she re-watched Peeta being knocked to ground. She couldn't see him beaten again, and she had to make it stop. She started to panic. After a few attempts of using the remote, she threw it at the TV. The screen cracked, but the images were still clear enough. She cried out in frustration and then threw a large vase at the screen. It shattered even further, but she could still hear Peeta's screams. Shards of glass and ceramic littered the floor as she walked through the mess to find something else to throw. There was a cast-bronze horse and chariot on the coffee table, so she howled and flung it with all her might at the television. Finally silencing it for good, she sank down to the floor and wept.

She didn't know why exactly: exhaustion, sadness, the memory of all the pain, or regret. Maybe it was a combination of all those things.

Seconds later, her front door flew open and she heard Peeta's heavy, uneven footfalls approach her.

"Katniss?!" he said, and gently scooped her up and then set her on the couch. His voice was steady but concerned, "What happened?"

"I-I," she sobbed. "I turned on the television and you, and sometimes me, were on every station…I couldn't turn it off."

"So you threw pottery at it to turn it off?" he assumed, with just the right hint of humor to make her smile.

She took a few deep, calming breaths, she wiped away her tears and smiled, "And the bronze horse."

Peeta grinned, "Those damn things are ugly any way." She chuckled despite her tears.

He gasped when he looked at her feet, "Katniss, you're bleeding." Then he again picked her up and carried her to the bathroom and set her on the counter. He found the first-aid kit and began to inspect her injuries.

"Katniss, this is terrible," he said and used the tweezers to remove chunks of glass from her feet. He joked, "You look like you've been walking barefoot in Haymitch's house. Although that might have been safer, because we could instantly sanitize the cuts with liquor."

He was trying to distract her from the pain. She had to admit that it was working. This was _her_ Peeta, and she was enjoying every moment of it.

She bit her lip as he pulled out a particularly large chunk of ceramic. They were silent as he painstakingly removed the tiniest shards. Finally Peeta removed the last bit of glass, applied salve, and wrapped her feet in gauze.

Katniss watched him; he never ceased to amaze her. Even after everything that he'd been through, he was able to take care of her with such tender, loving care. Their eyes met, and his breathtaking blue orbs were staring into her grey ones. She couldn't help but to wonder what he saw there: friend, ally, lover, or mutt.

The last option scared her, so she lowered her gaze to her feet. "Why is that shit on every channel today?!" she lamented, not really asking Peeta, but wanting to let her frustrations out.

He cleared his throat, took a step back, and said softly, "It's the first anniversary of my rescue from the Capitol."

Katniss tried to hide the flush in her cheeks, she was embarrassed and a little ashamed. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize…I don't keep track of dates."

He gave her a sympathetic look. "I didn't want to tell you, or more like I didn't want to talk about it. I thought that since you don't watch TV that I wouldn't have to tell you. I didn't want to remind you of what happened a year ago. Plutarch called me the other day and told me that all the Capitol stations were going to have specials about the games and my, Johanna, and Annie's incarcerations, but most focusing on me…There just happens a lot more footage of me than the others. I thought that it was best anyhow that it be focused on me. Annie and Johanna don't need the extra attention right now."

"Yeah," Katniss whispered, and she didn't know how else to respond. Annie had the baby to think about, and Johanna didn't need to relive her experiences. She felt guilty; she should have been more aware of what was going on around her. She should have been there to comfort Peeta, not the other way around.

She examined him closely. He must have been painting, because his shirt and hands were covered with different hues of paint. Upon inspecting his face, she saw that there were dark circles under his eyes and he looked worn and haggard.

"You didn't sleep much last night either, did you?" she stated more than asked.

"No, every time I closed my eyes," he said heavily, "I saw you running towards me, and then I wrapped my hands around your throat. I feel like I've been on the verge of a flashback all day."

Katniss reached her hand out to his, and when he took it, she pulled him to her and she wrapped him in a hug. She whispered, "You couldn't help it. I forgive you."

She could feel him tremble in her arms, and she felt a tear drop land on her neck. Katniss held him close and hummed a soothing tune.

"When you weren't here this morning, I thought that it was because you were upset with me," he confessed. "It wouldn't have shocked me, Haymitch is drinking already this morning and told me to leave him alone for the rest of the day."

"No, I woke up after you left me last night and I never really went back to sleep. I dreamt of Cinna. I left for the woods as soon as I could. I'm sorry, I should have let you know what I was doing."

"It's alright, please next time…leave me a note or something," he requested; he sounded so worn and haggard. They clung to one another for a long time.

"Peeta, I'm so tired," she sighed in his ear.

"Alright," he replied sadly and pulled away. "I'll take you to your room." He lifted her reverently and carried her up the stairs and laid her in her unmade bed. He covered her up and turned to leave.

She grabbed his hand, "Please, just take a nap with me for a little while," she pled. What she said next may have been a little desperate, but she wanted to sleep so badly that she couldn't resist, "Stay with me?"

He paused for a moment. "You're not afraid that I'll have an attack?"

"No, I'm not," she said sincerely. "Things are different now. Anyhow, we both know that the more tired you are the prone you are to have one. It…it would be good for both of us. If you have one, we'll deal with it. You've taken care of me today, so now let me take you by helping you sleep. So, will you stay with me?"

Peeta whispered, "Always."

He took off his shoes and lay down beside her. "The next time you want to watch television let me know, and we can watch some old movies or something."

"Oh, like the one about the Capitol girl who didn't get exactly what she wanted for her birthday?" she teased. Effie made them watch it once while on the Victory Tour, and while she thought that it was fantastic, Katniss and Peeta didn't agree.

"No, there are some good ones, made long before the Dark Days," he said as he settled in the bed. Then he said teasingly, "We'll have to watch it at my house, since you don't have a TV now. The 'off' button was that hard to find?"

"Yes it was," she yawned and hid a smile in his shoulder and found a comfortable spot to lay her head.

"Katniss?" he said somberly.

"Yes."

"If I hadn't of," he paused and struggled for the words. "Greeted you that way I did that day…what were you going to do when you first saw me?"

She didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry, but she still answered honestly, "I remember thinking that I was going to kiss you, if you'd let me. I definitely thought you were going to kiss me."

"_That _would have been a nice welcome," he said sincerely but sleepily, and he yawned. "It's a shame that it didn't happen that way."

"Yeah, it is," she replied, but he was already asleep.

She quickly followed suit, and they both slept for hours. When they woke up from their first dreamless sleep in ages, Peeta made them something to eat and then cleaned up the mess in the living room. Later they talked about their nightmares and their troubles, and before they knew it, it was dark.

She could tell that he was hesitant to leave, "Hey, if you want we could go to your house and watch movies like we talked about earlier."

"Alright," he smiled his most winning grin, and turned so that he could give her a piggyback ride to his house and said, "but only if you promise not to throw my bronze horse at the TV if you don't like what's on."

Katniss rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders; she held on tighter than she needed to, but neither seemed to mind. He hooked her legs with his arms, and they headed towards the door, passing the ruined TV along the way.

Secretly she was pleased that she'd destroyed it now; a shattered TV and bloody feet were small price to pay to have the comfort of Peeta in her bed. She was still confused and didn't know what the future would hold for them, but for right now she just wanted to enjoy the fact that she was with the one person in the world who made her feel safe, and that was Peeta.

**Thanks for reading!**

**You can also find me on tumblr izzy samson.**


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